So much change has happened in our lives since I started this blog, just one year ago!  Happy Anniversary to me!  We must always look forward and live present/future.  Living present/past is usually full of baggage and pain.  Full of “I can’t….because….”  But there are times we need to look back, just for a moment.  In doing so, we can see just how far we’ve come!  Identity and Community were our key change agents, but I’ll get to that later, so keep reading!

Last year, when I started this blog I was stunned to see how much I lived in fear of people.  The thought of being seen, known or even noticed sent me into a panic.  I lived on the fringes of everything and everyone.  Close enough so that you could see me, but I knew there was a wide, protective barrier between you and my heart.  Thank God there were a handful of people who I did feel very safe with!!!! This last year has been a year of increase in so many areas.  One being an increase in my heart and therefore relationships!

I am no longer afraid of being seen, known or noticed!  Visibility, which has typically been the equivalent of having a red bulls-eye painted on my heart isn’t an issue any more.  Will wounds still happen?  Yes, but they won’t derail me, as in previous episodes.  Why, you ask?  Because of Identity and Community.  Keep reading…

Over this last year, David and I both have stopped living isolated lives.  David found his Tribe through the Indianapolis School of Supernatural Ministry.  There, he learned the beauty of who he truly is.  The man I’ve always known, and loved, was rarely was known by anyone else. David got introduced to his true identity, through this community, and then got absorbed, immersed, captivated and captured by the love of God and came out on the other side a changed man!

I had a few close friends.  But, as for community, David and I were in community but not really in it to win it, so to speak.  However, we thought we were!  We simply didn’t realize how we lived it out.  It is just so easy to not connect beyond the surface with people.  We live fast-paced lives full of all sorts of obligation and commitments.  This is not a judgment but more like a statement on how we lived our lives.  And, I’m taking a risk here – I think people may like it that way.  The relative safety of our busyness keeps us at arm’s length from the gift of deeper friendships. 

That kind of friendship doesn’t happen without a lot risk, time and effort.  Those were three commodities that were easy to overlook in our busy lives.  

I’m pretty sure that I am not the only one who has struggled with the fear of being known.  Through very real and painful situations that occurred in my life the fear of being known was valid.  Why would I want to be seen?  To be seen, as I said earlier, got me shot at.  It was safer to live in a cave of isolation.  Be nice, smile, come say hello and run like the dickens when anyone approached me for anything more than a polite nod.

I will post part 2 later.  That will share more about the transforming power of Identity and Community.


About delanab2012

I am joyful, creative, and fun. I am also serious, pensive and contemplative. I'm what you call one of those outgoing introverts. I have a genuine extroverty side but also need my introverty alone time to regroup. What's that new term? Oh yeah, ambiverts. That's a good description of me I love deeply. My best friend, is my husband David, whom I love with every fiber of my being. Friendships are very important to me. Each friend is a multifaceted treasure. I love the Kingdom of God and my Jesus, therefore, life is full of hope, joy and promise!

2 responses »

  1. I look forward to the rest of this story! Reading your description of your fear of being seen is like reading about myself. That’s why blogging is my safe place, I am in control and do not feel vulnerable like in a crowd full of people. You have shown me so much open-hearted love D, and you are a safe place for me because of that. Thank you.

    • Dearest Susie Klein!!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I always refer to you in this way. It doesn’t matter who I am talking to, I always say, “My friend Susie Klein….”

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